Can Age Difference Finish a Marriage?
We have asked experts how a marriage continues when older men marry with women younger than them and what to do during this process. Here are the answers…
Can a marriage continue if the man is older than a woman?
For the beginning, it may be not a problem to have a great age difference between man and woman.
As when a woman and man fall in love with each other they do not see any problems, it is normal that they cannot estimate the problems which may occur in future.They can think that there won’t be any problem because they are in love and it is hard to believe that age difference can cause problems. However, love is a special and beautiful joke which is presented by our brain to our body and it is hard for it to last for a lifetime.
How these kinds of marriages work?
After the thrill is gone, selfish emotions which belong human nature starts to occur. At this moment couples’ approaches to each other are the important part because in this point the thing which will determine the future of marriage is not biological but psychological maturity. If both sides are ready to face the disadvantages of the age difference and ready to make sacrifices when necessary, marriage can work. The thing which will keep the marriage alive is not the age difference but the harmony capacity of the couples.
In an old man-young woman relationship, unfortunately, it is not possible to reach the expected spiritual satisfaction because of the generation gap and because of their egos. As a result of the generation gap, old man’s and young woman’s methods of upbringing differ from each other and this may lead them to look in different perspectives to life. When they have children, each of them wants to raise their children according to their own mentalities and opinion differences show up. As an older man’s physical activities decrease, he wants to live a calmer life and younger woman can demand a more social lifestyle.
Every person has his own character, education level and point of view about life. To prevent future problems with these differences, people should accept each other as they are and do not try to change each other. If a couple reaches at least 70-80% of this harmony, they can take a risk and get married.
What should be done?
For preventing a monotonous marriage, one should think marriage as a fresh flower and should feed it continuously. To have a healthy and happy marriage, couples should discover their common points and take them into prominence. Finding common pleasures such as sports or art which will make each side happy can improve not only the life partnership of them but also can improve couples’ team friendship and can support the marriage. If a couple knows empathy, sharing and communication, despite the age difference, their relationship can last long. If a couple have good communication with each other, they can understand each other’s passions and wishes. Having empathy to each other ensures more healthy marriages. Happiness should not be a target, because happiness is a long journey.
Ideal Age Difference between Men and Women
It is preferred in a marriage that man is older than woman. According the researches, for having a happy marriage man should be 5-6 years older than woman. This age difference can be maximum 10 years. After 10 years society can judge the relationship and there can be problems in a relationship. It is already hard to continue a marriage because two different sharing a common life is not an easy thing and huge age differences can make it even harder. This age difference can be considered as a relationship like a father-daughter relationship and because of this man plays a father role in the family and always gives, a woman, on the other hand, plays a daughter role like a child.
Older Woman or Older Man?
Man or woman, all people’s expectations from life and relationship can differ when they get older. Having different interests make it harder for a relationship to continue healthy. This is like two people looking through the same window but seeing different things. Generation gap can lead problems. When a 25 year old woman and 50 year old man start to share a life together, after a certain point, the relationship can fail. While young woman wants to have fun and go out and prefers to live an active life, older man can prefer to stay at home watch television or read a book. Both man’s and woman’s preferences are natural because of their ages. However when they get together, it is hard to have harmony in relationship because of this generation gap.
Healthy marriages are most durable dynamic of a society. This is why if necessary one can get psychological support to have a successful and log relationship.
Psychological Age in Marriage
Experts stated that for marriage psychology instead of biological age, psychological age should be considered important.
According to experts, biological age is relevant to growing, education status, family…etc. This is why psychological age is more important in a marriage. It is also possible for a couple that although their ages are similar, their psychological age is different and this is why one has a childish character and other has a mature character. Of course with the increasing in age, one matures. However getting older does not always means psychological matureness. In marriage, usually it is preferred to getting married with older man by woman. Because instinctively women need to be protected and men need to protect. Older men’s relationships with young women is better because of these instincts.
Accept the Differences
Couples who are getting ready for marriage should accept each other as they are and to bring their common points into the forefront to prevent cultural, educational and age differences. Because while choosing a life partner, it is impossible for one to find a person who is 100% proper. Marriage is not only a union of two people but also a long journey during which couples should compromise on their common points. The important thing in a marriage is completing each other.
Effects of the age difference on man and woman are different. Women usually stay away from relationships with young men because of fear of being left. Men’s biggest fear is sexual inability. For most men, it is scary not to be found attractive by women. Marriage unfortunately cannot prevent these kinds of fears.
Experts are mentioning that age difference can be maximum 10.
Negative Sides of Age Differences
Couples which has 15-20 years age difference between the usually grew up in different environments. As their upbringing style is different, their world views are also different from each other. Even if this situation do not affect them at the beginning of a marriage, especially after having a child relationship can have problems. Because each side tries to raise children according to their own culture and idea conflicts can occur.
Another important subject is having different ways of thinking because of the age difference. Actually it is a very normal situation. A 70 year old man maybe slowly starts to think about death; however a 55 year old woman can feel like a spring in her life. Moreover, getting older also make it harder to experience physical activities. A 50 year old person can prefer to stay at home and have a peaceful and calm life, a 35 year old person can prefer to go outside and have fun. This can lead problems in time such as younger partner can look for happiness outside their house.
Young men usually do not want to take responsibilities and young women usually need to consult their husbands for almost every little thing. Experts suggest that couples should find the balance of their relationship and be more understanding to each other.
Generally we think age differenced relationships can be seen mostly in between celebrities. However this is not true. Moreover, these kinds of relationships are not accepted by the couples’ families and friends also especially when woman is older than man in relationship.
45 Year Old Woman and 25 Year Old Man
If in this relationship, consider that man is 45 and woman is 25. Would you think the same? The fact is there are 20 years of difference in either way. However society and culture can make it seems different from each other.
In these kinds of relationships it is common to see fears, insecurities and jealousy. These feelings can cause arguments, disagreements and even fights.
Age differences in marriage should be examined. Women usually believe that the younger they look, the happier they can be. However this is not supposed to be like this. Yes, of course it is a good thing for a woman to be satisfied from her physical appearance and it also increases her self-esteem.
As you read, either man is older than woman or woman is older than man in marriage, both situations are available to be understood wrongly. If we put our prejudices away, we can start to accept every couple regardless of their age, race, religion or social condition.