Some of marriages in Iran have traditional customs characteristic of Persian culture.
These traditions have changed many times throughout history and have always been adapted differently according to ethnic groups, religions and even different social levels.
Today, couples who intend to get married are usually formed from people who have found each other at work, in College, in public places, at parties and family meetings, or not infrequently the same families play an important role in finding the right person for their children. Iranian marriage is an event consisting of several stages. In some parts of Iran, these traditions have remained unchanged, while in other areas there have been gradual changes.
In most regions of the country (especially in Tehran) common and traditional Iranian weddings are very popular, which is typical for most ethnic groups. But in addition to traditional marriages, among young people, especially those living outside the country, modern weddings in demand; which are less dependent on traditions and these couples interested only in the marriage contract and registration of marriage life.
The stages of traditional marriage are listed below:
Khāstegāri or Marriage Propose
According to previously agreed agreements, a groom together with the father, mother and other family members goes to the girl's house with flowers and sweets at the marriage proposal ceremony, which usually takes place in the afternoon or at sunset. At first, they are talking about different subjects, and then begin to arrange about the engagement with the girl's family.
In General, at this meeting the girl offers tea, sugar and fruit and answers questions. Then, if the two families have reached a common agreement, as well as cultural, social, living standards, etc. If it is appropriate, then if the future spouses approach each other, then the date and the next stage of the marriage is determined, that is what called Bale Borun
"Ballet Borun" and Shirini Khorān (eat sweets)
At this ceremony, close relatives from both families gather at the girl's home and the final agreements on the dowry and marriage conditions of the girl are discussed. For the ceremony of the ballet Bora, the groom's family brings for the bride a special fabric, a golden ring, box of chocolates and a bouquet, which means that the girl is engaged.
Dowry is the most important thing that is discussed at the ceremony of the Ballet Borun. In some ethnic groups, the bride's family must be paid an amount known as “shirbahā” (milk money or money for raising a daughter), which belongs to the father and mother of the bride. This money is usually used to buy a girl's dowry. All agreements and agreements are recorded and signed by witnesses.
Engagement is a ceremony that usually takes place after an agreement between the families, sometime after religious holidays or on weekends, the families of the newlyweds formally declare this marriage. The engagement can consist of a modest number of guests for a family dinner or a grand ceremony that takes place at home, in the hall or in the garden with a large number of guests. Invitations to this ceremony are being sent out. According to the traditions of the most regions, engagement is the responsibility of the girl’s side.
Ceremony Sofreh-ye Aghd
The ceremony of Sofreh ye Aghd is very important and takes place in two ways: first, with the ceremony in the house of the girl, usually women and men come together in separate rooms to get acquainted with the contract. The terms of the contract and the girl's dowry were determined during the “Ballet Borun” ceremony. At this ceremony, the girl and the guy sit side by side at the table of the wedding Banquet (Sofreh-ye Aghd), decorated with symbolic objects such as the Koran, mirror, candlestick, water, bread, cheese, greens, crystallized sugar, sweets, walnuts, almonds, nuts, eggs, honey, yogurt and over the head of young women hold silk fabric. One of the women crumbles two sugar cones over the newlyweds, small particles fall on the head of the bride and groom, which symbolizes a happy, comfortable life; at the same time, one "aghed" (the person who conducts the marriage) reads the contract; in most cases, bride gives his consent to the marriage, only after the third appeal to her aghed. After that, the bride receives a gift from the mother of the groom, called “Zir, lafzi” and then the contract will be declared.
It is then in the presence of witness, all pages of the Aghd-Name should be signed, this is an official document that includes the future of the couple's, marriage conditions, the couple's responsibilities. At the ceremony, the newlyweds are given gifts, congratulations, guests begin to have fun.
Preparing a wedding dinner usually refers to the bride's family, such duties as the supply of flowers, sugar and fruit other expenses are the responsibility of the groom.
In the second stage, after a General agreement between the bride and groom and their families, the marriage is considered to be concluded formally and legally.
The Pā-goshā ceremony is held after the marriage ceremony and the signing of the contract, a gala dinner organized by the parents in their homes with the invitation of the young couple, relatives. Usually newlyweds are given gifts at these receptions. But these parties are held among close relatives.
Preparation after wedding supplies
"Jahizie" or "jahāz" is a set of home accessories and household items necessary for the life of two or three people; a dowry that the bride brings to a new common home when she comes to a new home.
Usually earlier, when there was a girl in the family, her family was preparing for the wedding long before the event, buying different necessary things, but today by the development of technology and changing lifestyle; such purchases are made just before the wedding.
Before the bringing wedding things to the house of the newlyweds, women-relatives, collect wedding things of the bride, clothes and jewelry, as well as gifts from guests and bring them to the house of the newlyweds. It's a special ritual. Before the wedding ceremony, close relatives of the newlyweds go to the market to buy wedding accessories: rings, wedding dress, mirror, candlestick, clothes for the groom, etc. On this occasion, the groom collects a dinner party and buys gifts for the bride's friends, thanks them. These gifts are called "sar kharidi". These rituals are less performed at present.
Hanā-bandān is a bachelorette party or "farewell to virginity" which is held in the bride’s home, which is goes until late in the evening before the wedding day. On this holiday, the groom's family brings the bride fruits, desserts and decorative henna. The hands of the bride and guests are decorated by the henna, an atmosphere of great joy and celebration reigns.
The wedding ceremony is a Grand and joyful, very important ceremony, which is attended by almost all close families, even distant relatives and receive a warm welcome. Groom covers all expenses. The couple accompanied by the group of guests comes to their new home, specifically for this ritual is sacrificed lamb, the Quran is recited. Such a holiday in some cities and regions of Iran can last three days or more.
The Ceremony Pātakhti And Mādarzan Salam
The day of the ceremony Pātakhti takes place after the party. In this celebration, which is happening less and less nowadays, women belonging only to close relatives gather in the house of the bride's family, they are treated treats, cakes, fruits, desserts and drinks. On this occasion, guests bring gifts to the bride. Exactly the same ceremony is held under the name "Bridal shower" in Canada and America. In addition, in the morning after the wedding there is a ritual called “mādarzan salām”, the groom goes to the bride's mother and thanks her, kisses her hand and receives a gift from her.
Mah E Asal
After the last stages of formalities and wedding ceremonies, some spouses together go on a honeymoon. In religious families this ritual is known as Meşhed şehri.