Definition of Love
Love’s definition can differ from person to person but there is a common side for everyone.
Life suddenly becomes beautiful, different. Lover changes with love. But love cannot always be happy. Some loves included fear, anxiety and sadness instead of happiness and thrill.
What Happened To Someone When They Fall In Love
People feel lively when they fall in love. They feel energetic. There is a smile on people’s face when they think the ones they fall in love. As emotions are in the foreground, they can easily react emotional. The attention concentrates only for the ones they love, this is why other attention for other issues becomes less. Questions about the people they love like what are they doing now, what things does they care, what kind of things make them happy, occupies people’s mind who are in love with someone. They always want to speak about the people they love. They open the topic when they can. Moreover, people stop reacting the issues they used to react before. The problems seem so unimportant. If they do not like for example football games, for the one they love people can start watching football games or if people scared from horror movies, they can watch it for the people they love. People want to spend all their times with the one they love even if they have made a decision before not to leave out their friends. They become careful, understanding and full of love. It is surprising to hear people saying kind words to everyone.
Obsessive lovers also always think about the people they are in love with. However this love does not make people happy, it makes them anxious. Trust issues, thoughts on breaking up are always in those people’s minds. To get rid of these feelings, obsessive lovers usually try to focus on different issues. For example obsessive lovers always call the ones they love just to get rid of the jealousy they feel. This controls can comfort them for a while but after a while everything starts again. Another example is that obsessive lovers always ask their partner if he or she love them or not just to feel loved. Obsessive lovers are always in control.
Similarities Between Love And Obsessive Love
Obsession consists of thoughts which occur in people’s mind suddenly and repeatedly. These thoughts are usually uncomfortable however can not be taken away. To try to dismiss these feelings and thoughts is mostly do not end up as a solution. When in love, again people always think the one they love however these thoughts do not make them unhappy. In contrast, lovers are happy to think the ones they love. For obsessive lovers, thinking takes their all energy. Their life is oriented by their obsessions. For both kind of lovers, their world turns around the people they are in love with.
We see obsessive love usually in borderline and obsessive personal disorder illnesses. People who have obsessive personal disorder can not live without confirmation especially if this confirmation comes from the one they are in love with. They are very afraid of being alone. This is why when a distance occurs in between them and the person they are in love with, they try so hard to extinguish this distance. For example they can call the person they are in love with lots of times. They try to make plans together. Sometimes they can not even notice the things they are doing and can not realize that they can harm themselves and the person they are in love with. They do their best not to break up. They look for perfection and if they find it they do everything not to lose it. They get really uncomfortable with the uncertain situations. If the phone of the person they are in love with closed without their knowledge, they search the reason and do not stop till finding it. These people’s partners can be irritated in time. They feel like they are always on an exam.
Suggestions for Obsessive Lovers
Understanding Obsessive Love
Mutual trust is a very important thing in relationship. Another important issue is respect. A relationship which has no respect will be tiring for both sides. Partners should care each others needs, wishes and emotions. Moreover it is also important to have special alone time in a relationship. the last but not the least, to accept people as they are is very important.